What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 05:29
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Make Nazis afraid again!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
TEXT:
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.